Welcome to Things We Don't Talk About
Hi,
I was speaking to a woman today, and it got me thinking about the conversations we don’t have before we enter a relationship - conversations that perhaps we should be having.
In those early stages of a relationship, it can be difficult to talk about boundaries, values, and expectations. Yet these are often the very things that determine how well we navigate challenges later on. How do we work together as a couple? What feels okay? What doesn’t? Where might our differences create friction in the future?
As technology evolves, these questions become even more complex.
Traditionally, we have understood cheating through a fairly familiar lens. Talking intimately with someone else online, having a sexual relationship outside the partnership, emotional affairs - these are things many people would agree cross a boundary.
But where do we stand on AI?
Where do we stand on relationships built with personas, avatars, and artificial companions?
These are conversations we may need to start having.
One thing I often notice in the sexual space is that when something becomes hidden - when it moves into the shadows - it can gather momentum. It becomes easier to rely on that hidden part of ourselves to feel seen, understood, desired, or experienced through another.
If we are disconnected from our partner, or perhaps disconnected from ourselves, it may become increasingly easy to form attachments to artificial relationships and digital companions that offer a sense of connection without the challenges of real intimacy.
Could we find ourselves trapped in relationships with avatars and carefully designed realities?
What do you think?
I’d love to hear people’s thoughts on this.
Recently, at a symposium run by the Society of Australian Sexologists, there was discussion about the need for sexual health professionals to be involved in the development of these emerging technologies. The argument was that if these systems are being built, we need ethical voices at the table.
At the moment, there doesn’t seem to be enough consideration of safety.
People are having their photos taken and transformed into deepfake pornography without consent. AI is creating new opportunities for exploitation. There are concerns about how these technologies may be used to support harmful fantasies or behaviours.
Technology is moving incredibly fast.
The question is whether our ethics, our conversations, and our understanding of consent are keeping pace.
What do we think?
If you've found your way to this email, there's a good chance you're someone who cares deeply about relationships, connection, intimacy, and understanding yourself a little better.
And if that's true, you're in exactly the right place.
Until next time,
Simone Grace
Founder, Pulse Sexology
